


just give me life, give me peace, give me noise

by The_odd_one



Series: moments of despair[we can't stop it] [3]
Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: -mentioned - Freeform, Hurt Matt Donovan, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Other, cursing, he doesnt want to be, matt donovan is the adult, matt donovan needs a hug, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:42:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28255611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_odd_one/pseuds/The_odd_one
Summary: matt donovan is perfect, he's got everything going for him...
Relationships: Matt Donovan & Jeremy Gilbert, Matt Donovan & Vicki Donovan, matt donovan/depression, matt donovan/elena gilbert-mentioned
Series: moments of despair[we can't stop it] [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2069118





	just give me life, give me peace, give me noise

**Author's Note:**

> there is mentions of child-endangerment and abuse. drugs and neglect are in here too...

To the world outside, his life was great. He was star quarter back and had a great girlfriend. He was friends with her family and he had a doting older sister. He got good grades and small town charm.

In reality his life was a shit-show. 

He was scrambling to balance football and school with taking care of his druggie sister and abusive, alcoholic of a mother. He worked double shifts every night during school days, taking the weekends to complete homework and pay the bills and buy food. He was dating a girl who didn't love him and who he felt fake with, but he kept dating her because that's what he was supposed to do. His older sister was never home sober, if she came home to begin with. 

Honestly Matt was on the verge of selling the house that was to big for him, he was the only god damn person putting it to use. 

So might as well just get a cheap apartment, right?

. . .

Matt was _tired_.

He was tired of getting hit by his mom, of being belittled and used and hurt by the person who was supposed to love him. 

Who didn't love him. 

Who used he and Vicki as a way to get government stipends because she couldn't be damned to get a job. No, she wanted to travel the world on the arm of her newest boy toy or dealer, or fucking who knows what! 

He was so fucking tired of letting Vicki continue to lie to him about getting clean, when she just went right back to getting shitfaced in some strangers house or in the woods. 

He was so tired of being the god damn adult, the responsible one!

He was sixteen, for fucks sake!

He shouldn't have to know what it's like to peel his sister of the bathroom floor after she nearly OD'd! He shouldn't be so familiar with being hit and abused and used, that he can't be helped or hugged without some sort of negative being involved!

He was Matt Donovan and he was tired.

But, he lived and cleaned his drugged up sister's messes. He loves his mother through all her abuse and neglect, because it's all he knows. He continues to smile and hang out with Jeremy and goes on superficial dates with Elena. He works for hours every night, pays bills every month and debts and he works to graduate high school. He trains and pushes himself so that the football team makes it to nationals. He doesn't tell anyone that he moves to an apartment and sells his childhood home because he can't afford to pay for a big house when one person is living there by himself and without family.

He doesn't let his personal life taint the image his small town has of him. 

Doesn't let his smile drop, or cry when it get to much. He doesn't let talk about his mother for more than a passing comment that she's traveling.

He doesn't tell anyone about what they don't see. 

Wraps his wounds and injuries and tucks them beneath his clothes, out of view.

Why?

Because he's Matt -fucking- Donovan, star quarterback with a star girlfriend. 

He always has a smile to offer when you're down.

.

.

.

He wishes he wasn't matt donovan.


End file.
